Committee 2009/2010

CAPTAIN: Emma Corcoran

Let the reign of Twig begin. All bachelered up in Commerce and conditioned to perfection, Twig is cooked and ready to go. Being nice is so last year. Sharp, sarcastic and darn right evil have been used to describe the Iron Woman of trampolining but she has a soft side, in the form of a certain elbow that got a little TOO much attention. Yes yes seat drop wars got the better of her.

But Twig, being the party animal, ignored the whole DISLOCATION of her elbow and invited everyone back to her house for an xmas bash. What a host, what an idiot.

This poor girl is still battling her addiction to cocktails. Cocktail party 09 is where she gave in and got a bit too excited by her crazy straw. Decided to get to know the cocktails better, followed by getting to know the toilet seat better. Wasn't all bad she did get tipsy tramp of the year, possibly her proudest moment.

She's involved in various experimental projects in the club, past and present, including Captain sex and operation Riggy the results of which have yet to be published but watch this space. All in all treat em mean, keep em keen, the age old words of Twiggy and she's going about it the right way.

Alias:Twiggy
Level: Intervanced
Star Sign: Aries - (Your rams' horns are in everyone else's asses. Please eject from people asses.)
3 words that describe me: Opposite of nice
Favourite chat up line: Go out with me or die
Scared of: The carebears
If you were an STI what would ya be and why: Something sore and itchy
Random fact about ME: Dislocated same elbow, TWICE, doncha know...
Weirdest place to sleep: the stairs of the tramp house after the bouncy ball
Favourite move: Seat drop, obviously

SECRETARY: Louise Mc Glynn

Programmed, oiled and fully functioning, our fembot Louise is charged and ready to take on the infamous book and be our Secretary this year. Don't be fooled by this cute exterior, what lies within is a fierce lunatic that loves nothing more but to total cars and break iPhones.

Yes Louise has made a new name for herself. She just couldn't wait to get started on all that Vodka but seeking medical advice, she was told to TRY and dilute it. Rushing back with margarita town in sight, she met her match with a tree. Thank god she has been blessed with a ginger car.

This girl has the most unfortunate incidents at trips away:
Car trouble in Cavan
Direction problems in Limerick
Seriously bruised legs in Scotland(Dalmatian legs)

We prescribe louise to live in a bubble under the water to stay out of harms way. It has it in for her...
Armed with a new car (which she claims was from a dodgy dealer so she can mask the numerous times she's crashed it already) and a new hair-do she's ready to organise the hell out of anything or anyone that stands in her way as long as it doesn't involve driving round corners.

TREASURER: Ray Barry

Can we do it? YES WE CAN, the infamous words of Obama, but he wasn't available to tackle the debts of the tramps, so we settled for our very own Danger Tramp RAY. You think you're scared of him on a trampoline? Try owing him money. You'll feel the full force of the slums of Cork, and you don't want that to happen.

Ray suffers from a couple of allergies which do affect his as a person. The first being Ray is allergic to Jeans, yes the trousers. Once upon a time Ray fished these out from behind the mountain of Adidas and the result wasn't very good for him, but VERY entertaining for us. Ray Jeans alcohol=absolutely HAMMERED and Molly, Flaps and Neasa discovered the dark side that night.

Why does Ray always fall off the trampoline? Why when he bounces so high he gets closes to the glowing sun and this doesn't suit him well(He's black you see incase you haven't noticed), so he gets a wee bit light headed and down he goes. Plus he practicing some new and improved moves like full to fresher and Rudi ball out to face down on blue.

COMPETIONS OFFICER: Sinead O'Loughlin

Its my pleasure to write a profile for the one and only flaps. How she got this name, no one really knows. Has she lived up to it? Read on and you can make up your own minds. She's decided to be our comps officer this year so she can actually try and be sober for once.

Flaps' stories are the stuff of legends. Ever hear of a little story about Cavan? Well Flaps had a little TOO much fun and decided to take a shortcut from going to the toilet. That poor Miller box didn't see it coming. It's strange because she's fairly fond of the toilet especially that part under the sink.

If it hasn't already happened, you might find yourself targeted by this one. A tramp with an IMPRESSIVE track record of scorage I could name who but seriously like, its ALOT. Notable nights include the bouncy ball 09, she still needs to be filled in on this. Some people can't handle vegas, she seemed to fit right in. She'll be moving onto the other foot any day now...

An impressive trampolinist, I can't NOT mention her lovely ''most improved award'', but all in all a mess. She'll go to extremes with costumes, most recently where she dressed down in Cavan. Flaps is responsible for some of the best one liners in the club including:
I can make myself have a camel toe and a puffy crotch at the same time. Can I call it peggy?
Someone help me with this door?
Where's my cock!
Theres alot more to come....

HEAD COACH: Andrea Cullen

Andrea, being probably the most experienced member of the crew, brings lots to the trampy table. Most of you might only know this lady by Ms. Cullen, the No - nonsense, hard hitting teacher who cries out for corporal punishment to make its way back into schools across the country. Until then she has assumed the role of head coach to practice those principals of punishment on tramps. You're not going to be asked to point your toes, you will be ordered, so I'd just do it.

Its safe to say that Andrea has been to the hospital the most out of all tramps, not for injuries, unfortunately, but acting as Mammy to the tramps. Its nothing to do with helping though, she has a fascination with pain and the hospital soothes this addiction. If you look closely, you can spot the line of drool every time Ray Bounces.

Her drinking habits prove that this lady has one of the dirtiest of minds. Nice to your FACE but with a little influence can shame Hugh Heffnore himself. If she's not passing out or getting violent, she texting seedy messages. Freshers run for the hills, because you certainly do not want to duck with this one.

ENTS & EVENTS: Conor Gallagher

Plum came into this club and from the beginning he made a name for himself. Fairly open about everything, (Literally). Making a name for himself instantly with his wise comparisons, (it must be like F**king a baby) and fashionable competition wear (indescribable at in-house 08).

Scotland 09, and there was plenty of love in the air with Plum. He had so much love to give that he couldn't possible sleep in his own bed. Accompanied Tom for the first night(plenty happened). Did the same the second night. And afterwards decided to get out there and meet the locals more intimately(and analy). For added taste he did it in Tom's bed, with Gav passed out inches away, Sat and Sun night, with Adam and the cleaner. PP conducted the interview afterwards, not making it awkward at all.

Seriously, try and challenge this guys drinking. We are currently planning an intervention. He doesn't have boozy weekends, or even weeks. He has drunken months where the drinking just doesn't stop. Terribly afraid of the dreaded hangover, he'll just continue drinking and away it goes. Not so much fun for others, everyone usually ends up with a hickey.

He has no problem scoring the girls, and has plenty of tramps ticked off but his biggest challenge is converting the boys. He's not doing too bad, tricking Vinnie into a score and working his way on the rest.

PRO: Gavin Dudley

You can call off the ISPCC, he's not a lost child with an alcohol problem, its Gav. Its a joy to have this little rascal in the club because we can all witness how he is growing up! From the first time he shaved(Intervarsites, limerick where we still managed to cut himself but good first effort) to him getting full control over his bowel movements. This is still taking some time as he took a step backwards in Cavan where he managed to SHAT himself. Oh well.

I would love to say Gav had a scandalous time in Scotland 09, but he spent most of it asleep. (AH bless) He seemed to pass out alot, and he wasn't to be disturbed, even though Plum was expressing his anal love inches away, twice. He managed to pass out on the street too, in the fetal position, in the middle of Aberdeen, too cute I know.

He does have a violent and aggressive side as a drunk, picking fights with people, Ryan and Flaps to be exact, but he generally gets a couple of boxes and a couple of kicks and he's down. Currently taking martial arts, and gaining weight (8 stone now YAY) he'll be back!

With quite a bit of scorage beneath his belt we can't forget his most impressive conquest, Fergal, where they went all the way, by that I mean Fergal's fist went all the way. He recently crossed boundaries and got into a rival club members box, a GIRL, no less hence he shat himself.
Scotland, baby plum.

WEB MASTER: Vincent Grace

So what's new with Vinnie? He's been here before and managed to survive as treasurer and not lose his degree. The Splinth is gone but his fapping arm will never be the same again.

Still a hard hitting gymnast, showing off his skills whatever the occasion. Every club needs a party trick and Vinnie is ours. David, jealous of this decided to follow suit. Faceplant to face resulted, (Mae's birthday anyone?) Leave it too Vinnie Dave, seriously.

A bit of a mystery, Vinnie is a hard nut to crack so we went straight to his previous other half, Louise and discovered the uncomfortable truth about him. We learned that Vinnie is quite a abusive lover. A tale of ONE scotland where his aim was less than accurate and poor Louise's legs got attacked.

Although Vinnie has calmed down this year thanks to the therapeutic ways of fixing Macs, we expect a back step to his previous ways where puking and excess of drink got the better than him. Already its starting to unravel, where he's mistaken Plum for a woman and they got it on. (Who cares about the dare.) Apparently he was better than a strawberry...