Committee 2007/2008

CAPTAIN: Sinead Lee

Shady was the obvious choice of captain for the trampoline club this year for a couple of reasons, the main ones being that everyone was too afraid to run against her and she was dating last years captain (Barry), can anyone say DEFAULT?? Actually we believe that Barry still may be running the club through Shady, think how Hilary Clinton ran the US through Bill.

Shady is a keen tramp and one of the best in the club so to this day its still surprising to many how she can have such good balance, control and skill on the trampoline yet put her on solid ground and she'll fall, seriously we mean she'll just fall over onto her face for no apparent reason so much so that we dont bother to check is shes ok anymore.

Shady enjoys her sleep and so mornings are not this girl's friend and neither is anyone else around these early bird times. So lazy is shady in the morning that while living on campus she took the car to the sports centre, a 10 minute walk, a 45 minute shady drive... By the way if you happen to see any red Toyota Starlets driving around your best option is to stop dead in your tracks, Shady gets spooked by movement while driving and will do her best to make sure whatever it was never moves again.

SECRETARY: Siobhan Guckian

Knux has been in the club along time now and has used it to broaden her worldly experiences, literally. This is a girl who until the trampoline club had never done such things as fly, bowl, play pool, swim, go to a playground. We have no idea what her childhood was like but the fact she lived in a shack cant have helped matters, neither can the fact that Knux thought her middle name was Ann (when its actually Mary) and that her date of birth was 30th of March 85 when its actually 30 April 85, until she was eighteen, at which point she received her birth certificate and had a few questions. After a brief interview parents Mai and Sean - aka Goldtooth and Blofeld - blamed the priest... Knux tried baming the priest as well after she found out that the confirmation name she had chosen is just her name in english...

Though secretary for only a short time now Knux continuously strives to overstep her line of power and can often be found trying to sell the UCDTC to anyone who'll listen to her ramblings. This surprises none of the old members however as this one previously tried to become our treasurer with the speech 'I like money, I mean I reeeeaaaaalllllllllly like money, make me treasurer' we thought it would be a bad idea

Knux has won most injured tramp 2 years in a row now with injuries like popped knees and a shattered, yes we mean SHATTERED, ankle. You would think receive such injuries would be in HUGE moves, but no, she got it from a full twist?? Honestly we're still looking into the incident and believe her ankle was already shattered and was just using us for insurance fraud, the investigation continues.

TREASURER: David Long

Treasurer: The only committee role where you could lose your degree for doing a bad job - obviously hard to get people to volunteer, that's why we tricked David becoming our treasurer this year, shhhh don't tell him.

David is one of those great shining hopes of the UCDTC and the first member to ever seek sponsorship off UCD for tramping (and actually having decent chance of getting it) in saying that though he's also seems to have some child like innocence about him that no one can quite put their finger on, mabye its the way he can't construct sentences, ah you'll understand in time.

Like the majority of tramps David does enjoy his alcohol but also gets mightily upset if he misses a night out so tries to compensate the next night out by downing entire bottles of vodka straight away. If you ever see him perform this action no doubt you'll be amazed but don't associate with him for the rest of the night as you'll more than likely end up carrying him home. It used to be the case that you'd know if he was drunk by how much he wanted to hug you but now that's all changed as he'll hug you at any time for any reason but if you ever want to get him to stop then just give him a quick hickey while he's hugging you and he'll stop for a while but thats probably jsut to have a quick snooze

Apart from that David seems to stay out of trouble and cause very little scandal to be mentioned here, needless to say we're all very disappointed but no worries it's the beginning of a new tramp year and this is one committee profile which will be subject to change

COMPETIIONS OFFICER: Sarah Prendergast

This committee member may look harmless but DONT be fooled Sarah has a vicious streak and gets no better pleasure then planning and implementing revenge e.g. lets cling film that lad to the lamppost.

If you ever want to buy this girl a present and cant think of something then your best bet is a phone, since joining the club she's lost/broken at least 14 of them, its a disorder, during freshers week last year she put her phone down, got up on trampoline, bounced, got down, retrieved phone to find screen cracked, its a skill.

If you do ever get Sarah to not pass out by 10.30 and actually out to the main event of the night then you'll probably find her beside the bar convincing people who don't drink to try some sambuka, failing that, she'll force it on them.

If your really lucky and your outside Dublin and Sarah manages to not pass out then veer away from this one as more than likely shell be brought back by the police, we'll its cheaper then a taxi and has free alcohol in the back...

Now a bad picture of Sarah has been painted but she does have some good traits like being kinda like MacGyver, give her a shoe lace, elastic band and paper-clip and she and her dad will build an extension to your house, or try and fix her brakes on her blue Peugeot 106 dream machine, which requires a password to start, though they're not the best at mechanics and she now uses curbs and blocks to keep the car in place

HEAD COACH: Aisling Smith

Aisling was once a keen drunk earning her the nickname Smashling. The Aisling of Smashing however couldn't deal with the amount of scandal that her alter ego got up to and managed to clean up her act. Nowadays Aisling is very much a behind the scenes person contemplating new ways in which to create scandal and gossip based on others rather than herself, though there are those rare occasions when 'Smashling' comes out and to be honest we don't even want to know what she gets up to...

Dedicated to the club and with the experience and eye needed to become a Head Coach this is Aisling's 4th year on the trampoline committee, though we believe she's only back this year as she was about to be kicked out of the committee forum section.

A graduate of psychology she will often analyze those around her trying to find someway in which to better their lives and charge a 'nominal' fee. In one of her earlier sessions one good friend of her's poured his heart out regarding an altercation with his love, Ashling used all that she had learned in college and listened so intently that she fell asleep... for shame.

After months of analyzing everyone one around this budding babbling physocologist based her masters thesis on the study of each individual's autistic tendencies and since handing in the report has diagnosed everyone as such. Look out for her book, entitled 'Everyone has autistic Tendencies', which will be out in January for 99.95, cinematic release May 2009.

ENTS & EVENTS: Fergal Joyce

Fergal certainly knows how to throw a party and with his 21st already booked, organised and all attendants already RSVP'd we felt that there would be no one better for the job of entertaining us this year then this young lad. That and he's scored DCU's ENTs officer a few times so that's gotta be handy.

Fergal lives with Sarah and he definitely doesn't wear the pants in this household. Like so many stereotypical housewives when Fergal gets stressed or upset he'll go have a good clean of the house ironing everything is sight and then curl up in front of the TV with a nice glass of wine waiting for Sarah to come home so he can cook dinner. Now that's not because he's cooking for two, no no, its because he needs someone else to cut the chicken and wash the saucepan.

Fergal is also a slave of fashion, at the moment he's into his monochrome looks and apparently stripes have been 'so in this season' for the last 2 years. Actually for the past two years he has dressed as a fireman and a sailor for Halloween in Cavan, and while we may be letting the cat out of the bag we figure he's trying to complete the YMCA look before leaving college.

Now Fergal is undoubtedly a smart guy (590 in the leaving cert so close to 600 it kills him) but he always seems to get himself into weird situations such as repeatedly scoring people he shouldn't, agreeing to drink a pizza hut chocolate dish, going home with couples, using fake tan as lubricant etc. Add to these situations the look of a lost puppy and you can't help and feel sorry for him even though he got there all on his own.

PRO: Siobhan Walsh

With a beaming smile that rivals the light of the sun anyone would be crazy to say no do this sponsorship seeking girl, that's why Shivers perfect as our PRO this year.

Now we're not saying the Shivers was exactly quite when she joined the club but during her first year she was mostly a behind the scenes type of gal. We mean that literally of course as the only scenes anyone could ever remember were the photos taken by this young wannabe professional photographer. The tables turned this year however which strangely coincided with a 10-fold increase in this girl's alcohol consumption. Nowadays she can be found selling herself as a Smurf, getting thrown out of night clubs (shock), trying to turn people black etc. This change of night out pace has allowed us to actually get some photos of Shivers this year and so her profile photo wont have to be some random shape.

Shivs' most valuable possession (apart from her waterproof camera) is her car, a lovly Black Peugeot 306 convertible... god we hate her. She managed to get this dream machine after she convinced her dad to buy her a new car after she passed her driving test, she failed to mention that she was after a convertible but a deals a deal and that attitude goes far in this position.

While she doesn't practice the Irish Dance any more this young dancing queen can often be found over in the nearest leisure plex giving all she's got to the dance machines, throw in this years captain and what you got is a good old fashioned dance off and we have to say our money is on Shivs, sorry Shady.

WEB MASTER: SMALLe

Another one of those default member of the committee, SMALLe was voted in cause no-one else was willing to do the job, so like Vietnam SMALLe received the draft (literally) and must serve his club for another year. A graduate of computer science SMALLe knows as much about maintaining a website as you grandmother understands about a mobile phone - dial number, green button, red button - that is all.

SMALLe's time in the club has been a turbulent one fighting through several bad haircuts (looked like John Lennon), crashing cars into houses, going through phases of completely unnecessary nudeness, eating out of bins, getting beaten up by Sarah, only bring one change of clothes to Cavan (BIG NO NO), fighting of near death experiences (David tried to stab him with glass), battling 'hexakosioihexek' (go find out what that is cause its not getting typed), manorexia, rape etc. In fact he's so special his first act as PRO was to create this poll, muppet...

SMALLe has been in the club three years now and this is his second time on the committee, the self proclaimed best PRO ever, at least for the first month of his job, now takes up the role of web editor and is undoubtedly the glue that keeps this rag tag committee together, armed with his laptop, coffee and spell-check he does what he can to contain the problems of the past laid upon him.